it's done isn't it, us? i can't even remember how long it's been without you. i won't lie to myself or you i miss you and me. the way you made me feel about myself, was the first time i genuinely felt in bliss about me. i want you to still make me feel that way but i am an utter fool to think this will ever come to be again. i know you we don't speak anymore, and i guess its for the best but i wish we did speak. i know that we have both decided to take seperate roads from now on, but i will always remember that small amount of time when both your and my paths crossed and intertwined. i just hoped it would have been a longer time. you were my first love and i was yours; i will alter us in my mind because
i deserve a perfect first love instead of our tradgic ending. so from now on i will forget when you told me i wasn't what you expected, you stopped loving me, you wished i had a different personality, or i was a bitch in our relationship.
well since we dont speak anymore i can only tell you that all the cards and letters you gave back to me are torn and thrown away along with all your posters, cds, and gifts. i used to have a sense of respect towards them but i couldnt look at them anymore. our pictures were thrown, deleted, erased. my ring my symbol of my love for you, the one you stopped wearing, is in a lake with the ring you gave me. i didnt want that memory of you and me a promise you made broken
"forever and always". and you know that broken promises are what i hate and for that i cannot forgive you for breaking that stupid and unrealistic promise... but you decided to make that childish promise to me.
i look at you now wondering why i fell in love with you and there is no answer for that. maybe i fell for you because i was lonely and you were there for me, helping me get over depression. i wish i saw that side of you again that
lovely young boy who did anything to get my attention who respected me more than anyone else. i want to let go of you and thats why i dont want to see you anymore or hear about you i want you to dissappear so my heart can heal fully. but i want one thing from you that you never returned that day i came to your home. i wanted you to come back to me that day and for us to forget all that bull shit we went through in the end of the road, but you didnt say anything and neither did i. i was a coward and regret every oppurtunity that i had to tell you i missed you and i still wanted you more than anything else and i will always be that coward too afraid to appear weak to you. i just want my heart back, my love back,
just give me my heart back.
i would love to key your damn mom van more than anything but i cant, i'll just give you the key to
your heart back....
